Nothin' But .NET, or "How to justify ignoring your home life"
Just finished Jean-Paul Boodhoo's Nothin' But .NET course and everything you've heard about it is true. This was, I believe, the first course where I was paying rapt attention and still got lost. It was a fleeting moment but it was glorious! It was like the restaurant scene in The Meaning of Life where my brain is Mr. Creosote and JP is the Maitre d' trying to cram one more wafer of knowledge into it.
There are at least a dozen blog potential posts scattered throughout the week but I'll limit my own coverage to one since I believe Master Simser will probably cover the actual content better than I could. So I'll let him deal with any confidentiality conflicts with JP and instead, I'll post more personal highlights
Day One
JP covers factory methods, state-based vs. interaction-based tests, MbUnit vs. NUnit, guard clauses, and delegates. It's 8:35am.
At 6pm, we lose a couple of people who favour family over brain-scrambling. JP is adamant that it's cool but there's rejection in his eyes and for the remaining three hours, he covers only thirty-six topics, down from his usual rate of fifty-nine per hour.
At the end of the day (a respectable 7:15ish), I decide that what JP really needs is a soundtrack. I vow to remedy this tomorrow.
Day Two
8:30AM - I initiate the course soundtrack with Also Sprach Zarathustra.
1:00PM - Afternoon musical inspiration: Kids In The Hall Theme
6:15PM - I concede defeat and stop trying to keep up on my own laptop.
7:03PM - He invites me up to implement a test. I GOT TO TOUCH JP'S KEYBOARD! See entry for day five.
9:15PM - JP claims he's raring to keep going but prefixes this statement with a half-hidden yawn. We let him off the hook...this time.
Day Three
Today's musical selections: Feelin' Groovy (take note of the opening lyrics), Delilah (by request), and Linus & Lucy
8:30AM - JP claims not to have gotten any sleep last night. Despite this, I switch from tea to a double double with a shot of espresso at Starbucks to try to get my brain vibrating on the same frequency. Also, Jolt. JP orders water.
11:00AM - We take a break while he rants about properties. Or methods or operators or something. Frankly, I'm just glad he's distracted enough that I can catch up.
7:15PM - He laments that we've missed a couple of topics so he refactors the app we're working on so quickly, we travel back in time a few hours so that we can get back on track.
2:35PM - Maintainability trumps all other abilities. It takes me a while to determine he is talking about code and not children.
6:45PM - At one point in my life, I was able to play Flight of the Bumblebee on the piano fairly respectably. I may as well have been playing chopsticks compared to what it takes to keep up on my laptop. Interestingly, Bumblebee is probably an accurate description of the colour of JP's laptop.
8:15PM - It occurs to me that ReSharper has so many keyboard shortcuts, you could conceivably finish your application by mashing on your keyboard at random.
Day Four
Morning inspiration: He Ain't Heavy (He's My Brother) (by request)
9:30AM - We finish implementing the dependencies on the domain. JP claims, "Now we can *really* start moving"
1:00PM - He starts playing his own music to code to. *NOW* we're talking. There is a minor quibble about the selection but they are quickly smacked down (oddly enough, with a ReSharper shortcut).
3:35PM - I thought the music would lull him a little but he actually appears to be speeding up. He no longer moves his hands to type. Instead his hands hover over the keyboard and the appropriate keys press themselves out of respect. Or, more likely, fear.
6:55PM - We settle in for a long night because JP claims he has to catch a flight tomorrow night at 7:30.
10:45PM - We wrap up and I check in with the missus back home in the Bahamas who accuses me of neglecting my daughter, cheating on her, and eating too much cholesterol-laden pizza. Take note, prospective students, Nothin' But .NET is bad for the home life. Even if half your family is two countries away.
Day Five
9:45AM - JP's laptop has just undergone some minor emergency surgery for the last hour and a bit but steadfastly refuses to boot up. We hold a small service and JP performs a rousing rendition of The Rose with the rest of the class backing him up in five-part harmony. The Bumblebee is down and I volunteer my laptop as a surrogate for the day. It is promptly pimped out with "only the minimum [I'll] need to work effectively". I'm left with 2Gb of hard drive space and much software that will expire in thirty days.
1:25PM - Now I get it! He's pre-recorded everything he's done and is playing back at four times the normal speed and only *pretending* to type. Don't worry JP, you're secret is safe with the Hillbilly.
5:30PM - "Oh yeah, I cancelled my flight tonight. Is everyone okay to stay a little longer?" I'm too scared to leave as every single thing he covers feels like my entire career depends on my knowing it.
9:00PM - I have to physically pry JP off my laptop. He breaks free of my grip but amid cries of "Stop him! Before he refactors again!" we manage to subdue him with a Bumblebee to the left temple.
I jest, of course (which I mention only because I've name-dropped JP so much that I'm afraid some humourless Googler will come hunting me down). The course was a delight as my dear grandpappy would say if he had all his teeth and could speak (and were still alive). Especially give my recent odyssey into self-improvement, career-wise at least. Having tried self-study for the last few months on many of the topics, it was great to have them explained in a structured, albeit rapid-fire manner and to have a context for the many patterns discussed as well as some nuggets about how some of them fare in the real-world. And there is absolutely no denying JP's passion for what he does which in and of itself elevates this above many similar courses.
The hard part now is going to be reining myself in. Not since the three-day recap of the Hillbilly's family tree has my brain been so abuzz with possible avenues of opportunity. It will be a case of holding a hammer and trying not to look at everything like it was a nail. We were hit with so much so fast, there is an overwhelming urge to apply as much as we can as soon as we can so the knowledge does come dripping out of our ears.
And in that respect, I'm planning to spend some quality time with the resulting code over the coming weeks, adding remaining functionality and refactoring existing stories. Perhaps integrating NHibernate or Windsor just to say I did.
But I'm not looking forward to all the cash I gotta start laying out when all this trial software expires....
Kyle the Supersaturated