Five five-year-old girls....
Five....five-year-old....girls...were just in my house...simultaneously...for three hours.
Syd's been negotiating this for a week. It started innocently enough. She likes to make lists (gets it from her grandmother) and she was listing off people that she would invite to a party. She had about fifteen people down when she was satisfied with the final list. This is how the conversation went after that:
Me (scanning the list): "So this is who you would invite to a party, huh?"
Syd: "Yeah, can we have a party, daddy, pleeeeeeeease?"
Me (returning to my video game): "Sure, sweetie"
Syd: "Next weekend?"
Me: <stunned silence>
Syd: "If we have it next weekend, I'll let you win this game."
Me: <long pause> "Drop the boys and cut the rest of the list in half and you got a deal."
That was six days ago, before Liza knew she had to go to Mexico this weekend. She left Wednesday with a strange sort of smirk on her face, the meaning of which I am just now starting to understand.
All this past week, this day has been looming. And Syd didn't help. As soon as I would let my guard down and settle down in front of the TV, she'd come barreling into the room, "Daddy, I think we should have s'mores at my party," and I would jump three feet in the air. When I'd land, she'd say, "on second thought, I think it'll be faster if we just inject liquid sugar directly into our veins" and she'd scamper off to arrange five IVs.
The actual event was a blur of trampolines, sidewalk chalk, Avril Lavigne, pound cake, and tacos. Some quotes:
"Quick, Sydney! While your daddy isn't looking!"
"I told you the Barbie Jeep wouldn't make it down the steps."
"That's a good idea, Gabby. These paint brushes are just slowing us down."
And of course, "b", which is a symbol unpronounceable by anyone except five-year-old girls. The closest English translation is: "AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
So it's over now. Aid is starting to pour in from all over the world. The Ukraine has promised $100m in relief. The Czech Republic has offered over 50,000 troops to help with the clean-up. The French have donated fifty cents. The U.S. couldn't be reached for comment as they were still celebrating The Madness of King George.